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Post by Premier on Nov 20, 2016 18:00:42 GMT -5
So I had surgery on Wednesday. The anesthesia and the meds always clogged me up. This is my 3rd surgery ever and it's always the same. Can't shit for a couple of days.
This time I got an hemorrhoid from trying to unsuccessfully take a shit for 3 days.
Some Preparation H will sure feel good right about now. My wife is asking me to let her apply some for me since I can't reach. Love her for that. Do whatever for her man.
But dam, man, I don't want to put her through that. That's like the loss of innocence to me. We been together for 8 years, so we are way past the stage of me farting and shitting in front of her.
But I feel this is on a whole new level.
Wish I could post a poll from my cell.
The question will be "Would you let your woman apply some Preparation H for you?
Preparation H: What true love looks like.
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Post by Fasthands25 on Nov 20, 2016 18:08:29 GMT -5
Nothing because she is with another man...
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Post by Premier on Nov 20, 2016 18:14:14 GMT -5
Nothing because she is with another man... Probably applying some Preparation H to him right now.
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Post by locogato11283 on Nov 20, 2016 18:18:56 GMT -5
You can't reach your own asshole?
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Post by Fasthands25 on Nov 20, 2016 18:22:45 GMT -5
Nothing because she is with another man... Probably applying some Preparation H to him right now. D:
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Post by slaytan on Nov 20, 2016 18:26:46 GMT -5
She's a trained nurse so, anything. When I got road rash 3 years ago she strip scrubbed it for me every day.
One thing that baffles me is how women don't usually mind smelling their man's shit. Or, at least, they don't take all measures to avoid it, but many will come in and brush their teeth next to their shitting man
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Post by Angelo on Nov 20, 2016 18:39:46 GMT -5
But I feel this is on a whole new level.
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Post by Premier on Nov 20, 2016 18:39:51 GMT -5
You can't reach your own asshole? Nah man. Just got back surgery. Got one of these installed. I can reach my ass to clean it But not precise enough to properly apply cream to an specific area.
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Post by locogato11283 on Nov 20, 2016 23:11:09 GMT -5
So, you're just worried you're going to like it?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 14:21:48 GMT -5
Been with my girl 9 years and we both still like privacy in the bathroom. Just the way we are. I may launch a silent fart now and then and blame it on the dog but I don't blow the ass trumpet in front of her. Mainly because I don't want to start the precedent of her blowing ass in front of me.
That being said I'd let her rub my bhole with some prep H.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 14:22:59 GMT -5
That's pretty good you are able to wipe your ass premier. When my back was at its worst, I just would jump into the shower after I took a shit. Pain in the ass.
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Post by Premier on Nov 21, 2016 14:23:36 GMT -5
So, you're just worried you're going to like it? I already know I like it..... :eek:
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 14:23:50 GMT -5
Is that your l4, l5 and s1?
See why I have so many fucking posts?
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Post by Premier on Nov 21, 2016 14:34:51 GMT -5
That's pretty good you are able to wipe your ass premier. When my back was at its worst, I just would jump into the shower after I took a shit. Pain in the ass. I'm amazed how well I am doing. The pain is still there of course, but I've been able to get into bed, roll around and change positions throughout the night. I feel so good that I have to remind myself not to over do it. The trick is to stay active. I lay in bed for a couple of hours, go and sit on my balcony for a bit, then walk around the apartment. They had me standing and walking around my hospital room 8 hours after surgery. I wanted to cuzz them out. But that's what really help me heal so quickly. Gotta stay active but not over do it. Mom will be in town until Wednesday. So that will be the test right there. See how well I can handle myself with no one around until the wife gets home from work.
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Post by Premier on Nov 21, 2016 14:35:32 GMT -5
Is that your l4, l5 and s1? See why I have so many fucking posts? L4/L5 fusion
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 14:42:38 GMT -5
I didnt get a surgery, had a different issue but same spot. And I hate to admit it, but I'm gonna likely need surgery eventually, I'm sure my body won't let me do this much longer.
Movement is the key, you are very right. Keep it moving. I would consider going into the old timer classes in the pool at the park or gym if I were you. I did. Walk around and do jazz hands. Then built up to swimming classes.
But it was definitely movement that made all the difference. Not a doubt in my mind.
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Post by Premier on Nov 21, 2016 14:57:33 GMT -5
The apartment pool is right in front of my unit. I'll be doing some pool exercises next week.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 15:01:48 GMT -5
Have your mom put the stuff on your Bhole... she saw it for 3 straight years already.... unless you are afraid you will spring wood?
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Post by CaveBearOG on Nov 21, 2016 15:09:36 GMT -5
Have your mom put the stuff on your Bhole... she saw it for 3 straight years already.... unless you are afraid you will spring wood? man thats just creepy...da fuk???
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 15:15:44 GMT -5
I've got a pretty solid relationship with my mom...and if I didn't have a woman, id still try to find some strange for the bhole rub before my mom lol.
I'd create like a gadget or something...
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Post by TitoOrtizIsAPunk on Nov 21, 2016 16:16:19 GMT -5
I'm sure Spencer would not mind for a small fee... Happy ending or happy beginning extra and optional as well
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Post by Fasthands25 on Nov 21, 2016 16:19:30 GMT -5
Fuck it I'm going to a brothel. I want to feel loved again.
How much will it cost to get her to rub preperation H on my anus?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 16:28:26 GMT -5
I've got a pretty solid relationship with my mom...and if I didn't have a woman, id still try to find some strange for the bhole rub before my mom lol. I'd create like a gadget or something... I would just buy about a gallon of it and dump it on a paper plate and sit on it. No way is anyone messing with my Bhole.
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Post by ToNoAvail on Nov 21, 2016 16:30:45 GMT -5
Fuck it I'm going to a brothel. I want to feel loved again. How much will it cost to get her to rub preperation H on my anus? Just your dignity.
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Post by ToNoAvail on Nov 21, 2016 16:32:28 GMT -5
I've got a pretty solid relationship with my mom...and if I didn't have a woman, id still try to find some strange for the bhole rub before my mom lol. I'd create like a gadget or something... Gadgets. Fuck yeah.
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Post by Fasthands25 on Nov 21, 2016 16:37:01 GMT -5
Fuck it I'm going to a brothel. I want to feel loved again. How much will it cost to get her to rub preperation H on my anus? Just your dignity. Believe me that went out the window in 2012 when I joined the sound off forum.
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Post by Spencer on Nov 22, 2016 4:23:33 GMT -5
Been with my girl 9 years and we both still like privacy in the bathroom. Just the way we are. I may launch a silent fart now and then and blame it on the dog but I don't blow the ass trumpet in front of her. Mainly because I don't want to start the precedent of her blowing ass in front of me. That being said I'd let her rub my bhole with some prep H. Ex-fucking-actly!
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Post by Spencer on Nov 22, 2016 4:24:50 GMT -5
I've got a pretty solid relationship with my mom...and if I didn't have a woman, id still try to find some strange for the bhole rub before my mom lol. I'd create like a gadget or something... Again, this is the correct answer. Once your mom stops changing your diapers, she stops touching your butthole....without question. I'd rub some Prep H all over a tree and pretend I was a bear scratching my back before I let my mom rub my butthole.
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Post by CaveBearOG on Nov 22, 2016 9:15:09 GMT -5
I've got a pretty solid relationship with my mom...and if I didn't have a woman, id still try to find some strange for the bhole rub before my mom lol. I'd create like a gadget or something... before I let my mom rub my butthole.way back when, my kitten couldnt poop, vet said you will need to massage its butthole to facilita....hung up, buried cat....sad story
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2016 11:15:10 GMT -5
Where you been bruh?
Creating gadgets and shit...
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