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Post by FAQer on Sept 21, 2016 11:35:50 GMT -5
I was recently househunting with my wife and realtor when my six egg breakfast made a guest appearance. I signaled my wife to distract the realtor outside while I quickly laid some cable. As expected, it came out with a little resistance. However, when I stood up and flushed, nothing happened. I went into panic mode and starting to tamper with everything in the back of the toilet. I quickly realized that the water was turned off, so I was able to turn it back on and easily remove the evidence. Long story short, I ended up buying the house for $44k less than his original asking price and got 1,300sqft more than my last house @$66 a sqft. In fact, I just closed on Friday and nailed my wife on the back patio the same night. I love being a grown up!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 11:42:39 GMT -5
Congrats!!!
A couple years ago, I was selling a home to my old roommate. He made it a point to drop a deuce in every single home we walked through. Even more so if there were others walking the home at the same time.
Being a grown up rocks!!!
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Post by TitoOrtizIsAPunk on Sept 21, 2016 11:53:41 GMT -5
How did you signal your wife?
Glad you stopped by. Even if you don't post regularly, at least you know where we are. Good to hear everything is going well.
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Post by FAQer on Sept 21, 2016 12:08:41 GMT -5
Congrats!!! A couple years ago, I was selling a home to my old roommate. He made it a point to drop a deuce in every single home we walked through. Even more so if there were others walking the home at the same time. Being a grown up rocks!!! That's the kind of stuff I'll be thinking about during my final moments on earth. Also wife, kids, etc... How did you signal your wife? Glad you stopped by. Even if you don't post regularly, at least you know where we are. Good to hear everything is going well. I shot her a text while in the car with the realor so she knew she may have to run interference at some point. LA shot me a message on FB so I knew I needed to join. I've missed the old gang. Shit, I hate talking to people I see everyday. They're boring as hell. I've definitely missed the release that can only be found on the OD!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 12:10:26 GMT -5
Got a Squatty Potty a few weeks ago. Highly recommend it to anyone who is a human who poops out of their butt.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 12:16:49 GMT -5
Got a Squatty Potty a few weeks ago. Highly recommend it to anyone who is a human who poops out of their butt. Ive had one for awhile. I've got to say that after a morning kale shake, coffee and a gym session..man.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 12:28:45 GMT -5
Got a Squatty Potty a few weeks ago. Highly recommend it to anyone who is a human who poops out of their butt. Ive had one for awhile. I've got to say that after a morning kale shake, coffee and a gym session..man. Yep. Know exactly what you're talking about. First time I used it, I walked out of the bathroom and my wife asked me what was up. Told her that her father was right when he told me last week that I was full of shit.
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Post by CHOPPEDnSCREWED on Sept 21, 2016 12:41:55 GMT -5
Glad you made it, Faq.
I'm in sales, so I take a caffeine dump every morning when I leave the office and I have the good fortune of taking a wanderer dump everyday somewhere, usually around lunch time.
I like trying out new places, but I always like stopping by an old place just to see how it's changed.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 12:42:07 GMT -5
I've definitely missed the release that can only be found on the OD! Are you talking about blowing loads while reading the stories about Melinda shoving a Buick up her vagina?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 12:46:46 GMT -5
Are you talking about blowing loads while reading the stories about Melinda shoving a Buick parked in the Bennigan's parking lot up her vagina?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 13:26:09 GMT -5
I've definitely missed the release that can only be found on the OD! Are you talking about blowing loads while reading the stories about Melinda shoving a Buick up her vagina? There has never been a buick in my vagina, people.
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Post by Premier on Sept 21, 2016 13:53:16 GMT -5
Nice to see you around FAQ.
How fat are you these days?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 14:09:07 GMT -5
I've definitely missed the release that can only be found on the OD! Are you talking about blowing loads while reading the stories about Melinda shoving a Buick up her vagina? There has never been a buick in my vagina, people. Pics or gtfo
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 14:10:40 GMT -5
Ive had one for awhile. I've got to say that after a morning kale shake, coffee and a gym session..man. Yep. Know exactly what you're talking about. First time I used it, I walked out of the bathroom and my wife asked me what was up. Told her that her father was right when he told me last week that I was full of shit. Ha! I feel legit lighter when I walk out of that bathroom. It's not even the same when you dump without one.
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Post by ocmmafan on Sept 21, 2016 15:16:55 GMT -5
We have a gender neutral bathroom so our resident tranny can feel comfortable and I always shit in there. Best bathroom in the building.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 15:30:06 GMT -5
We have a gender neutral bathroom so our resident tranny can feel comfortable and I always shit in there. Best bathroom in the building. I've used one as well recently. Cleanest bathroom I've been in in public in a long while.
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Post by Premier on Sept 21, 2016 16:28:40 GMT -5
That's that SouthPark episode. Cartman turned in a tranny just so he can have his own bathroom.
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Post by purerockfury on Sept 21, 2016 20:46:42 GMT -5
Not a pooping adventure, but my youngest son had pre school today and got caught pissing outside on the side of the church. Good times.
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Post by Fasthands25 on Sept 21, 2016 20:49:37 GMT -5
Not a pooping adventure, but my youngest son had pre school today and got caught pissing outside on the side of the church. Good times. He is a man now.
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Post by rockafella on Sept 21, 2016 20:51:09 GMT -5
Am I mistaken or was the OD not the birthplace of the AC Slater?
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Post by peAk on Sept 21, 2016 21:27:41 GMT -5
So a squatty potty for poopin.....
What about a leaky faucet?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 23:40:50 GMT -5
Not a pooping adventure, but my youngest son had pre school today and got caught pissing outside on the side of the church. Good times. Hold your head high friend, you have raised a real man.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2016 23:59:31 GMT -5
Not a pooping adventure, but my youngest son had pre school today and got caught pissing outside on the side of the church. Good times. He is a man now. yes, give him a high 5 and tell him thats why men run the world.
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Post by Fasthands25 on Sept 22, 2016 0:04:09 GMT -5
yes, give him a high 5 and tell him thats why men run the world. He shoulda shit in one of the confessionals.
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Post by purerockfury on Sept 22, 2016 6:52:43 GMT -5
yes, give him a high 5 and tell him thats why men run the world. He shoulda shit in one of the confessionals. Ha! I wouldn't put it past this kid. I have two boys, the oldest is too kind, too sensitive, and way too emotional (great kid though). Meanwhile this 4 year old is like a little fucking cyborg. 50 lbs of pure testosterone. Kid wears me the fuck out.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 22, 2016 7:14:53 GMT -5
I had my daughter out for a bike ride, and she said she had to poop. Anyone with a 4 year old knows that they can basically walk as fast as they can ride a bike, so there was no way we were making it back to the house. I let her take her first roadside shit. She made me proud, she just popped a squat and took care of business. She didn't mind wiping with the couple of napkins I had in my back pocket, either.
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Post by peAk on Sept 22, 2016 7:29:18 GMT -5
I had my daughter out for a bike ride, and she said she had to poop. Anyone with a 4 year old knows that they can basically walk as fast as they can ride a bike, so there was no way we were making it back to the house. I let her take her first roadside shit. She made me proud, she just popped a squat and took care of business. She didn't mind wiping with the couple of napkins I had in my back pocket, either. Kids rule
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Post by CaveBearOG on Sept 22, 2016 8:01:11 GMT -5
i now shit 5-6 solid shits per day....wtf??
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Post by FAQer on Sept 22, 2016 9:27:53 GMT -5
Nice to see you around FAQ. How fat are you these days? I was certainly pushing maximum density a few months back when I was 229lbs, but I'm back to a crisp and supple 195lbs. Haven't trained much in the last year due to back issues, but I've been lifting and laying off the cake
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Post by purerockfury on Sept 22, 2016 10:26:36 GMT -5
I had my daughter out for a bike ride, and she said she had to poop. Anyone with a 4 year old knows that they can basically walk as fast as they can ride a bike, so there was no way we were making it back to the house. I let her take her first roadside shit. She made me proud, she just popped a squat and took care of business. She didn't mind wiping with the couple of napkins I had in my back pocket, either. About once a week I take my 4 year old on a ride/hike through the mountains. I'm pretty sure shitting in the woods is his favorite part. A couple weeks ago he asked if we could hide and watch somebody tramp in it.
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